Thursday, June 12, 2014

Leaving the nest and learning to doubt and to embrace wonder.

First off, I want to thank all of you for reading my posts about this completely unexpected experience that left me with the choice to choose honesty and integrity or comfort and security. Over 5000 of you have come to visit and read my posts in the last ten weeks.  To some, that number may be small, but to me, that's a huge number of curious "ducks".  You've been patient and looked past the fact that I'm not a professional writer, but just another average person who's jumped out of what I was taught was the only true nest.  If you are visiting any of my posts, you are either curious, or are at some stage of where this duck in this picture is in leaving the nest, or perhaps you have watched a loved one jump out of the nest, and you are sitting in the warm, cozy, adequately lit space where you feel all your needs are met and you are happy?  Why on earth would my brother or sister ever jump out of this nest that meets all my needs?  Why does any bird ever leave the nest?  If you think about it, we get all their comfort, food, warmth, protection, security, entertainment, answers, trust, and safety given to us - so why leave?  What was missing?

The truth is that the past ten weeks don't even have words to describe what the experience has been like.  Unless a person jumps themselves to find out their own beliefs and the truth about beliefs they've always taken for granted, there is no way it can be described what the experience is like... just as a wood duck cannot explain to the baby ducklings inside the nest what the world is like outside the nest.  The truth is that I'd do it all over again, and forty years sooner if I had wings to fly back then.  The truth is that I've felt joy and peace, and a light and calm that I can't describe in words.  I've felt more connected with being human to everyone on earth, and especially to everyone I love in my life than I've ever felt.  The truth is that I've felt more connected than I've ever felt to nature and the world I now have the privilege of exploring with a lens of appreciation and reverence.  

I've also crashed into a few trees, I've bruised myself, in my pure moments of finally having no doubt shelf, no mental gymnastics anymore, ever again, I've sometimes run into other birds also learning to fly for the first time.  So far, I've only made it to that tree you can see in the background in these pictures but I can see the sky and the forest from the trees now in a panoramic vista all around me and it's beautiful beyond comprehension.  Every person is incredible and beautiful and creates this incredible mosaic of diversity and beauty.

Now that I'm sitting on that tree in the background and I'm looking back at my nest and the family of ducks that are still inside, I realize that I love them just the same as I did when I was inside the nest with them.  The difference is that out here with all the other birds, I'm viewing everyone else differently now.  Many other birds with different nests, and different looks, and different upbringing seem to have the same choice; stay in the nest and doubt your doubts, or to jump by really exploring what it means to claim to know something, what you believe and not what others tell you to believe, and what you simply hope for?

To each of my children, you are amazing!  You are naturally inquisitive and are brave, and are going to have beautiful lives!!!  You are my beautiful baby ducklings.