5 Biggest

Yesterday was my 39th birthday and was forgettable (hopefully) with the exception of Catriona (my DD) making me a beautiful chocolate, coconut pecan, nutella chocolate cake and dinner!  She's so thoughtful and I just love her for that. 

So today I'd like to do an exercise.  Here are my five biggest TODAY....
Hopes
1.  That Kelly finds a job that will provide for our family, help us dig out of residency debt, and is something he will enjoy as much as he can at this point in our lives considering the whole situation.
2.  That I'll be able to lose 40 pounds before my 40th birthday.  I'd also like to breastfeed Lexi until her birthday which is in April which augments my goals to lose just 5 pounds by the end of April.
3.  That a year from now, all this financial stress of running out of money the end of Kelly's residency will be a thing of the past. 
4.  That our overall stress level will decrease in 2013, and that every member of our family will be able to live with a little less stress and more quality time for each other.
5.  That I'll be able to improve my relationship with my Heavenly Father through better temple attendance, better person prayer, and a better commitment to family religious study (family prayer, family scripture study, etc.).

Dreams
1.  That in the next few years Kelly is able to move into the best job for his wants and needs.
2.  That I'll be able to nurture my family better because I don't need to focus as much on providing for our family. 
3.  That Preston chooses to go on a mission and thrives and inspires other on his mission.
4.  That Preston, Catriona, Tristan, and Lexi feel more loved and supported by me because I'm emotionally better able to be there for them.
5.  That I find my place professionally that helps me grow professionally, and doesn't overly stress me out crippling my primary responsibility to be a great wife and mother.

Fears
1.  That financial recovery will continue to cause us great stress and our children will continue to be affected by this.
2.  That Preston will be too hard on himself and lose a piece of his optimistic and hopeful spirit, and that he will be unable to learn and grow through this struggles and failures as well as his successes.
3.  That I'll gain weight or won't be able to lose my weight debt next year.
4.  That Kelly's car won't make it, or he'll get in a crash because of the repairs we've not been able to do.

Regrets
1.  That I have been a troll at times to Kelly (my DH) at times during this process of him ending residency and finding a job so late; he's got essentially three weeks left.
2.  That we didn't list our home for 30K less so it had a better chance of selling; but even with the stress, I'm glad we didn't sell now because we might be able to stay in our home.
3.  That I didn't ask for financial help sooner before my credit rating tanked and that I didn't find more ways to cut costs.
4.  That I paid a full tithe the whole time, again being humble asking for help when we came up short.  Choosing to pay our mortgage instead of tithing kind of set the stage for our financial turmoil that started in 2010.http://mormon.org/faq/#Tithing

question=/faq/church-tithing/ 5.  That I didn't get more help once I started gaining the weight back at the beginning of Kelly's residency so I wouldn't be in this position now.