Relief Society Resignation Letter - Rough Draft

Since I consider myself a very average writer, edits or suggestions are most welcome.

04/30/2014 (two months after "discovery")

Dearest Sisters (and Brothers) of My Ward,

First off, may I express my deep and abiding love for all of you. What an amazing year this has been serving as your relief society president!  I'm deeply humbled by how incredibly beautiful, giving, and loving each of you are in serving one another behind the curtain.  I just knew the Church was true, and I loved every aspect of my faith.  I especially enjoyed the time set apart as sisters to meet in relief society!  Meeting as a united society of sisters was a highlight of my week for years.  My hope is that my friendships with you will continue outside of church attendance.

My husband and I have been in the CH2 Ward since its beginnings.  I have loved serving as a nursery teacher, junior and senior primary teacher, gospel doctrine teacher, temple cleaning coordinator, relief society teacher, relief society 2nd counselor, and most recently as your relief society president.  My view has been and always will be that the people are simply perfection in their imperfections.

It is with heartfelt regret that I write to you at this time.  I realize my decision may cause an emotional upset for some of you which I can truly empathize with as I've had to endure the emotional turmoil personally with having my own son turn away from the church, and now as I explored my own views on God, on the afterlife, on being a human here on earth, and on the history of the church doctrine.

My understanding of love is that love is unconditional, and that any belief I have in a God is of an unconditionally loving God without judgement.  With this belief, a long and securely held and symbolic shelf of doubt crumbled leaving my religious views and doctrinal world open and also shattered upon looking at sources both for and against the LDS church.  There are dozens of historical facts that have been covered up that are found on lds.org, and many other web sites.  One recent document summarizes many of the conflicts I've had on my doubt shelf for many years.  see www.cesletter.com

To maintain my honesty with all of you, and my own integrity, I resigned as relief society president to the bishop on March 30th.  I loved and honored my membership with the church.  I trusted the church in providing me the whole truth.  It has truly shocked me how quickly my testimony of the Church unraveled when I began to become an actual investigator of the church, and to think for myself about what I really believe?  I put my own beliefs on trial, and the church on trial, and the end result was beyond what I ever could have imagined last year.

I have not come to this decision lightly.  After my religion was not what I'd been led to believe it was, I tried to come up with ways to keep this wonderful calling, the best ever, and still hold onto my new beliefs.  I wanted my pride and dignity kept in tact, and my community of friends unaltered.  I struggled for days on how to talk to my best friend who is also my husband about my change in beliefs.   I suspected that there were many like me in each congregation with family members they didn't want to hurt by coming out about beliefs that are different from lds.org.  

I knew that keeping this a secret to others could only happen with a serious compromise in my own integrity.   In doing unbiased research on the church which I've believed all these years to be a college level education in the Mormon religion while attending and preparing for all my church classes, I've discovered that it wasn't a college of critical thinking, but a church of indoctrination with plain and precious truths that likely have been covered up to "preserve" my testimony.  My option to choose was taken from me which has led to feelings of betrayal.  I feel betrayed and I'm saddened that so many of my friends and family have this information kept from them to "protect" them also.

It hurt to discover that I had gained a testimony of things as they were made to appear as the truth and facts, rather than the actual truth.  The church has changed many facts to beliefs and testified of this in court recently.  Accepting that my feelings and convictions and testimonies are similar to many other devout dogmas, faiths, religions, and philosophies has been helpful in accepting that the range of human emotions is vast and spans all seven billion+ of us, and not our select group of active Mormons.  

Most importantly, I've become completely average, 

and completely a part of the human race, 

with nothing extra or special to offer other than my love.

I did not resign as a result of sin, or weakness or being offended by anyone. I loved the gospel and the Church, and loved serving you in every capacity I've had the privilege of serving you with my completely unchallenged, loyal, and believing testimony. I has hurt to find that there are many others who share my views now who remain active in church due to other believing family members and who feel trapped with fear that coming out about their beliefs will compromise their most cherished relationships.

"When faced with indisputable evidence, that I would rather accept the uncomfortable truth than a comforting fantasy."  

President J Reuben Clark said “If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed.”

 I am now just beginning to enjoy the benefits of being able to think for myself and am starting to feel the joy of discovering my own views on the universe, the current and ever expanding views of science and the universe, or perhaps multi-universe,  on love, and on cooperation and service to others.

My hope is that some day each of you will understand my decision and the reasons why I've made it.  One source I found said that only 5% of people entrenched in a religion such as ours by the time they are my age, will leave it. My hope is that perhaps some day all members will encouraged to truly investigate both the pros and the cons the church as they do with so many other life altering decisions.

I'm always here if anyone needs support on their journey of investigation and truth.  All the best on your journey, and may your path be as individual as you are.

Only love,

Sister Emily Schofield